


i will address the issues i cannot ignore

by lovedisak



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Other, idk it's cute read it, isak is only mentioned, they talk about feelings??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 08:34:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10850319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovedisak/pseuds/lovedisak
Summary: Apparently, to Even, talk to you later means six days later.Sana is sitting at her desk, trying to make sense of some math exercises (who the fuck even invented limits, and who hurt them) without much success when she hears a text notification coming from her phone.For a minute, she’s excited it’s going to be Yousef with another one of his stupid memes or ridiculously endearing, cheesy phrases (I would sell my kidney for you? Who even says that? Sana can still feel herself blush any time she thinks about it, but that’s only hers to know). But then she remembers, she probably won’t get another message from him again.orEven is a great friend and Sana finally has someone to talk to.





	i will address the issues i cannot ignore

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiiiiiii! sad sana was making me sad and i live for this friendship so.. i wrote this !! i hope u like it nd let me know what you think :)

Apparently, to Even, talk to you later means six days later.

Sana is sitting at her desk, trying to make sense of some math exercises (who the fuck even invented limits, and who hurt them) without much success when she hears a text notification coming from her phone.

For a minute, she’s excited it’s going to be Yousef with another one of his stupid memes or ridiculously endearing, cheesy phrases (I would sell my kidney for you? Who even says that? Sana can still feel herself blush any time she thinks about it, but that’s only hers to know). But then she remembers, she probably won’t get another message from him again.

She shakes her head, now is not the time for self-pity.

When she checks her phone, she realizes it’s actually Even who texted her, and although she really would prefer it was someone else (a very specific someone else), she smiles at the name paired to the silly photo of Even she set up as his contact picture (it’s of him doing as many double chins as possible, and since it was taken from Sana’s point of view – that is to say, like two feet below Even’s head – it makes is head look like a pin, and it never fails to make Sana smile).

**Even** _: What’s up?_

**Sana:** _I hate math_

**Even:** _who doesn’t…_

She starts to type out a response, when she gets another text

 **Even:** _want to get away from it? Have some coffee?_

 **Even** : _My treat :D_

Sana considers it. She really does need to get away from this math homework, she’s been trying to get it right for a long time but she’s exhausted and math has fried her brain, so it’s not really working properly right now. Also, spending time with Even is really nice.

But, she’s Sana. She’s going to tease him first.

 **Sana:** _maybe. If I don’t find anything better to do_

 **Even** : _:’(_

 **Sana:** _but I guess, if you’re paying…._

 **Even:** _!!_

 **Even:** _see you there in 30? :)_

 **Sana:** _sure_

 **Even:** _:’D_

She doesn’t take too long to get ready, she already had make up on since she had gone to school earlier, so she just fixed it a bit, changed clothes, and made her way to the front door. Her mom stopped her on the way.

“Where are you going?”

“Just going to grab some coffee with Ev-“ she catches herself just in time, clears her throat “Um, with Eva” her mom smiles.

“Okay, have fun” with a kiss to her cheek and a quick “I will” Sana is out of the door and on her way to kaffebrenneriet.

Even is already there when Sana arrives, and he smiles that gigantic smile of his when he sees her, leans down to peck her on the cheek .

“Halla!” he exclaims. Sana has never had any sort of romantic feelings for Even, and she doubts she ever will, but she can kind of see why Isak fell for him. He has that ability to make you feel like you’re the only person he cares about every time you talk to him. It’s uplifting.

“Hi” Sana smiles “should we go inside?”

Even nods and holds the door open for her, and together they stand in line and chat about what they’re going to order.

“Do you want a brownie or something?” Even asks.

“No, I’m not that hungry” she truly isn’t, but it also has to do with the fact that Even is paying, and she’s aware money doesn’t fall from the sky for him, especially now that he’s moved in with Isak and the two of them have to pay for everything themselves (Even’s moms help, but Even has told Sana him and Isak try to pay for everything they can with their own money).

However, when it’s their turn to order, Even asks for two brownies.

“Even, I’m not going to eat it all by myself, I’m not hungry” Even looks at her distractedly from where he’s trying to grab both their coffees and the two brownies by himself. Sana rolls her eyes and takes one of each.

“Oh, no, it’s for Isak” Even smiles, sitting down at a table across from Sana “He knows we came here, if I don’t bring something for him he’s going to get grumpy” despite his words, he doesn’t look the least bit annoyed “He’s very high maintenance” .

“That doesn’t surprise me” he lets out a big laugh, and Sana is actually really glad she decided to go out with him. His smile is so contagious, she can’t help but return it, and it feels so good to finally smile genuinely. “How are things with him?”

That makes Even go on and on about living with Isak and how he is the most organized messy person he has ever met (“It’s like, he lives in absolute filth, but his filth is organized by color, size, and smell, and if I move it he gets pissed”) and how he presses his cold feet to his when he’s right about to fall asleep, because he’s a little shit. And he has the dopiest smile on his face right now, he, frankly, looks like a loved up idiot. Jesus, Sana hopes this isn’t what she looks like when she’s texting-

That makes her smile fall a little bit. Fuck, she had been so good at avoiding thinking about it. She was having fun, hearing about how happy two of her best friends were really filled her with joy. She thought she could just forget about it, only for one afternoon. Why was this boy so deep inside her head she couldn’t just keep up a normal conversation with a friend without thinking about him?

“Everything okay?” that makes her head snap back up. Shit, she had completely tuned Even out.

“Yeah” she forces a smile “Sorry, what did you say?”

Even looks at her for a while, opens his mouth a few times just to close it again, as if he wasn’t really sure how to phrase what he was about to say next “You know, when you ask someone out for coffee it’s usually so you can talk about things” Sana raises here eyebrows at him “Like, both of you. Not just one of you rambling about his boyfriend” that makes Sana snort.

“Okay…” she shrugs. She’s not planning on telling Even anything about Yousef, considering she hasn’t even told any of the girls and Even and Yousef used to know each other.

“It’s just-“ Even starts again “If something was bothering you, you know you could always tell me, right? I’d never judge” Sana knows at least that much is true. Even is probably the least judgmental person she knows, definitely including herself “Sometimes talking about things can make them better. And I really care about you, so, if I could help”.

Sana takes a minute to think. She has been feeling kind of trapped with her secret, she likes that it’s something just for herself, feels safer that way, but now that it’s- now that it’s _over_ , she doesn’t want it anymore. She doesn’t have that fluttery feeling in her stomach and that ridiculous airy happiness of liking someone, she’s just sad. And it’s difficult to deal with that all on her own, feels like a weight on her shoulders she has to carry around.

And Even, Sana trusts him so much. He’s one of the kindest people she knows, and Sana actually can’t remember the last time anyone asked her if everything was okay with her. Just the fact that he cares enough to stop in the middle of talking about Isak – and Even _loves_ talking about Isak – and turn the conversation completely around on her-

It’s touching, is what it is. Sana is touched. And she actually feels that Even cares about her, it doesn’t seem like he’s just saying it to be polite, and she is just so _tired_.

At the lack of response, Even has taken to drinking from his coffee cup again and looking out the window, giving Sana time to gather her thoughts and decide how she wants to proceed – which she is really grateful for.

Fuck it.

“Did you know Yousef isn’t muslim?” this obviously takes Even by surprise. He raises his eyebrows, then he furrows them, puts his coffee cup back down on the table. Sana bites her lip in anticipation.

“Um, yeah” he nods “Yeah, I did know that” Even looks back at her, clearly waiting for her to explain why she asked. She doesn’t “Why- why is that important to you?” it’s not accusatory, just interested, but it still makes Sana break eye contact, looking back down at her coffee cup, which she is now holding with both her hands.

God, what has she _come_ to, she can’t look Even in the eye and she’s pretty sure she’s actually blushing. She can’t believe she’s acting like this, it’s so embarrassing. In her peripheral, she sees Even nod, letting Sana know she got it and Sana wants the ground to fucking swallow her.

When she looks back up, Even raises his eyebrows at her again, a small smirk on his lips. “You’re gonna make me say it?” that pulls a laugh out of Even.

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to” Sana sighs out of relief. Jesus why are so feelings so hard “But what’s the deal with him, then? Since when do you guys talk?”

“Not since too long” she explains “Just, a few weeks ago he added me on Facebook and we started messaging and sometimes we talk when he’s over at home. And he’s always so nice to me, like actually asking about things that matter to me and-” she hates that she can’t help the smile that’s taking over her face, has to remind herself that it’s over. That spoils her good mood pretty quickly “But it doesn’t matter. Because he’s not muslim so, it can’t get anywhere” she feels a little less heavy having talked about it, she’s relieved that she doesn’t have to carry all of that around anymore, but she’s not any less sad.

“Okay,” Even nods, thoughtful, “so, he told you he’s not muslim? Did he say it to you in person?”

“No, he messaged me” Sana can still remember reading those words for the first time. _I don’t believe in Allah._ Just five stupid words typed out by a stupid teenage boy, and she still shed some embarrassing tears, alone in her room that night.

“And what did you reply?” Sana frowns.

“Nothing”

“Nothing?”

“No,” Sana shrugs “the next day he texted me a joke, or whatever, but I didn’t reply” she sighs “And then I unfriended him on Facebook”

“You what?” Even looks disbelieving. What did he expect Sana to do?

“Yes, I’m not going to keep talking to him if it’s clearly going nowhere” she shrugs “If I want to forget about him, I can’t-“ she has to clear her throat “I can’t talk to him anymore, I need to move on”.

Even takes a minute to figure out what he wants to say. He looks down at the table in thought. After a minute or so, he looks back to Sana, who stares right back at him.

“Listen,” he begins “whether you want to be with Yousef or not, that is entirely your choice. My opinion doesn’t matter, so I won’t tell you anything about that” Sana is grateful for that. One of the reasons she didn’t tell the girls is because she knew they were going to start making ignorant comments about her religion again, and she is so fed up with it, how they make absolutely no effort to understand any of it. Even is educated, Sana knows this. They’ve had enough talks about Islam for her to know this. She trusts him with this part of herself; he has never said anything that was out of line, because he never tries to act like he knows as much about it as her, doesn’t appropriate her experiences.

“But I will say” he continues “that you should probably message him back” Sana is about to interrupt him, but he doesn’t give her the chance “You don’t have to keep talking to him after if you don’t want to, but don’t leave him like this” seeing that Sana is still listening and not trying to interrupt him again, Even goes on “You don’t even have to tell him you like him, just explain that you don’t want to talk to him anymore, because I bet right now he’s sitting at home, waiting for your text, not knowing what he did wrong” Sana feels tears gather in her eyes and God she hates that she’s so weak but picturing Yousef staring down at his phone, confused and sad and hurting. It’s killing her.

Even seems to notice that he’s made her upset, because his voice is softer when he speaks again “You said he was very nice to you, right?” Sana still doesn’t think she can really look Even in the eye, but she nods her head yes “He deserves to at least have some kind of explanation, don’t you think?”

Even does have a point. Yousef is one of the nicest guys Sana has ever met, he doesn’t deserve this. But it’s so _hard_. Even the thought of opening his contact again, redacting a text to him and seeing that little speech bubble again, knowing Yousef , wherever he is, is thinking about her and what to tell her is just, too much.

“I guess” Sana knows she’s not being very eloquent, but she doesn’t think she can say something more elaborate right now, she really didn’t appreciate how easy talking was when you weren’t about to cry.

“You know, before Isak and I got together” Even’s tone is lighter, taking a bit of the pressure off Sana “he made a comment that really hurt me” she looks back up at this, but Even is the one avoiding eye contact now “and I pushed him away, without telling him anything. And then he still found out, in the worst way” his voice is shaky and Sana is reminded of how Even is so much more than what he shows. He carries so much guilt with him, blames himself for everything and Sana feels a sudden urge to wrap him in a blanket and give him a cup of tea.

“Can you imagine if I had told him that it bothered me before?” he adds, in a lighter tone, but Sana can see how much he thought about it, how he’s still beating himself up over it “We would’ve both saved ourselves a lot of hurt”.

Sana meets his eyes again, and she can’t help but smile. Not because what Even said was funny at all, not even out of happiness. More like out of affection. Even is such a great person, and despite the chat they just had, he looks so happy lately. Sana can’t help but smile whenever she sees him and Isak together, not because they’re cute or anything (they’re not. They’re disgusting) but because they just look so at ease with each other, so happy to just _be_ together.

She doesn’t let herself think about how she might have had that. She doesn’t.

“You don’t have to do it now” Even smiles “You can take all the time you need, just. I think that would be best for both of you” Sana can’t help but smile back “If you don’t want to go on his profile again, I can give you his number”.

“You still have his number?” Sana raises her eyebrows.

“Yeah” Even’s smile falters a little bit, his eyes downcast again. Then he adds, quietly “I still have all their numbers”.

Sana’s feels her heart clench a bit. For all six feet whatever that Even is, he looks incredibly small right now. She doesn’t really know what she’s doing when she reaches across the table and squeezes his hand, but with the smile Even gives her in return she doesn’t really need to think about it.

When she leaves the coffee shop around half an hour later, she thinks she has never felt lighter.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at @lovedisak :)


End file.
